Pain sucks
So after much debating earlier tonight, I went to the hospital after all. I have torn ligaments in my knee, and I would have made it worse if I had just gone to work like I was thinking of doing. So thanks many times to the people at work who harrassed me to file paperwork, to my girlfriend for saying "you can't even stand at the sink to do dishes... get your shoes on." and to my wonderful friend for bringing me and waiting to drink her wine until we all got home safe. You know, the type of friend you want with you in a dark alley.
So now here I am, bored with the TV already, leg bound up in a cast(so it's not THAT exciting), and slight pains every now and then when the leg twists just right. I am yet again debating the going to work arguement in my head. I hate sitting here doing nothing, but it is time to heal that I know I will not give myself otherwise. I feel useless here. After a long work week, I have no problems sitting down for the night and relaxing, you feel you deserve that after busting for 11 hours four nights in a row. But I have only gone one and a half nights before I did this. Now I just want to feel useful again. Plus there is the move this weekend and I got told not to lift anything real heavy. Knowing the people helping us and more importantly my girlfriend, I will be lucky to do anything other than catch cats and hold doors. This is why pain sucks so much. The lack of usefulness until being fully healed. The stubbornness I have to push past pain and get done what needs to be done, focusing after on how much it hurts. Thats when the pain is justified, not sitting here on my ass typing. Especially not in the knee.
Not much to do though other than wait it out. My friends won't let me do much more. I love them so much for that. Without the friends I have, I would be a bundle of pain all the time, or sitting here for longer than a week with my knee wrapped up in a cheap brace. Thank you for keeping an eye on me and a reasonable voice in my head when my own fails.
So now here I am, bored with the TV already, leg bound up in a cast(so it's not THAT exciting), and slight pains every now and then when the leg twists just right. I am yet again debating the going to work arguement in my head. I hate sitting here doing nothing, but it is time to heal that I know I will not give myself otherwise. I feel useless here. After a long work week, I have no problems sitting down for the night and relaxing, you feel you deserve that after busting for 11 hours four nights in a row. But I have only gone one and a half nights before I did this. Now I just want to feel useful again. Plus there is the move this weekend and I got told not to lift anything real heavy. Knowing the people helping us and more importantly my girlfriend, I will be lucky to do anything other than catch cats and hold doors. This is why pain sucks so much. The lack of usefulness until being fully healed. The stubbornness I have to push past pain and get done what needs to be done, focusing after on how much it hurts. Thats when the pain is justified, not sitting here on my ass typing. Especially not in the knee.
Not much to do though other than wait it out. My friends won't let me do much more. I love them so much for that. Without the friends I have, I would be a bundle of pain all the time, or sitting here for longer than a week with my knee wrapped up in a cheap brace. Thank you for keeping an eye on me and a reasonable voice in my head when my own fails.
posted by skorp19 at 10:27 PM
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